Radio Silence

In case you’re wondering why the content of these posts often bears little relation to the actual date that they get posted, it’s because internet here is in limited supply. There is no internet access at Broken River, and internet access at the youth hostels between here and Christchurch (where I go every so often for more food) is expensive. So, I write these posts offline and copy them into the blog when I’ve got internet access.

I am, in fact, writing this very post from my bunk in White Star Chalet. This is the cheapest accommodation option at Broken River, and features backpacker’s style bunks with a shared kitchen, indoor shower and toilet. Tonight is a quiet night here. There’s me, Jo (who’s been up for a bit over a week) and two Czech guys. We’re also being joined by two ladies from Christchurch and two gents who are probably also from Christchurch. At 25% female guests, this is much less of a sausage party than is typically the case in White Star. In fact, it seems like BR is something of a sausage party most of the time, to the extent that young attractive women reach something of a mythical status here. I heard some guys who’ve skied here for years reminiscing about a girl from four years ago. Seriously boys, the reason why young attractive women don’t ski here is probably because they know (using their secret women skills) that you’ll still be talking about them four years from now.

I tried out my favourite Czech word on the two Czech guests – “strikachek”. Like true Czech people, they feigned ignorance, then finally admitted the understood and “corrected” my pronunciation. In case you’ve never spoken to Czech people before, they have a national game a bit like an Australian’s national duty to warn visitors about drop bears and other especially dangerous forms of wildlife. In the Czech Republic, however, this game applies not to wildlife, but to foreigners who try to speak their language. Every time you say a Czech word, they will correct your pronunciation. If you make the corrections they suggest, they will continue to deny that your pronunciation is correct, while all the while repeating the word back to you exactly as you have said it. They will also give nonsensical instructions. For example:

Well meaning non-Czech speaker: Wow, Czech people! I know a Czech phrase, “dobre den”!

Czech speaker: Huh?

WMNCS: Dobre den?

CS: Ohh. Dobre DEN.

WMNCS: Oh, whoops. Dobre DEN.

CS: No no, Dobre DEN. You need to roll your N. Dobre DEN.

WMNCS: Dobre DEN.

CS: DEN. Imagine it has a silent r at the end. Then roll that r. Except that it’s silent. DEN.

This exchange can continue indefinitely, with both parties repeating exactly the same words to each other for the whole conversation. It should not be surprising that the nation that brought us Franz Kafka should have such a diabolical national game. It certainly makes the old “look out for drop bears” look a bit tame.

Alright, I’d better make dinner, so I’ll sign off with the traditional Czech farewell. No training!