7) In Australia, moderate bushfire danger means that it probably hasn’t rained for a month, that there is a fair bit of dead wood and other fuel lying around, but the wind is low and it’s not particularly hot. In New Zealand, moderate bushfire dangers means that snow or liquid water only covers part of the ground, rather than submerging it completely.
8) In Australia, if your rugby team loses, you can turn to a number of other sporting codes to restore your national pride and sense of self worth. In New Zealand, if your rugby team loses your only option is to violently assault an Australian.
9) In Australia, if the earth moves for you it’s probably time to light a cigarette. In New Zealand, if the earth moves for you it’s probably time to move house.
10) In New Zealand, water shortages mean that it hasn’t rained today and everyone around will nod sagely when you say you’ve decided to take shorter showers. In Australia, water shortages mean that it will probably never rain again and if you wash your car on the driveway your neighbours will report you to the Stasi.
11) In New Zealand, grass is green. In Australia, grass is something you read about in books.
12) In Australia, when the roads to the snow say you need to fit chains, you probably don’t really need to fit chains. In New Zealand, if the signs say you need to fit chains, you NEED TO FIT CHAINS.
13) In Australia, the cheeky native parrots are white, dismantle street lights and eat farmers’ crops. In New Zealand, the cheeky native parrots are black, dismantle cars and eat lost tourists.
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