An Important Clarification

OK, before I post the details of my big date last night, I should mention a major piece of the puzzle that I found out the night before last. Avid followers of this sorry tale will recall that Maud's Hot Sister and I had been involved in something approximating a heterosexual version of remote gay chicken, with communication being conducted via text messages sent to and from Maud. The whole question of using your sister to remotely hit on your housemate, as Marie appeared to be doing, was one of the most perplexing aspects of this whole scenario. The question of just what kind of person asks their sister to ask their housemate about the size of the housemate's naughty bits is one that I have mused over in many of the quiet hours in the last few weeks.

It turns out that Marie had no idea that Maud was relaying her questions to me (and then, in most cases, simply fabricating answers) and was apparently mortified to discover that her sister had taken a supposedly private joke between the two of them and shared it with her housemates. So it may be true that blood runs thicker than water, but the compulsion to meddle in the love-lives of one's housemates runs thicker than blood, perhaps like a very thick and nutritious smoothie.

This meant that one of the most terrifying (and unlikely and confusing) possibilities for my unenthusiastic attempt at wooing was off the table. Maud's Hot Sister had not managed to defy reality and come to the conclusion that I was in fact a hot, well endowed Latino man named Juan. Since sleeping with Maud's Hot Sister was not something I actually wanted to do (but would have seriously considered in light of its enormous LOL value), this significantly reduced the risks associated with actually heading to Whister and commencing Operation Date Maud's Hot Sister. Of course, I didn't know that until I was already well committed to the operation, so I still deserve respect and maybe some kind of ongoing payment from the government.

Another implication of this change is that it's still possible for me to reclaim ownership of this joke. Of course, attempting to regain control of the joke was the slippery slope that got me into this quagmire, but circumstances have changed, and I really believe that I can make everyone else uncomfortable instead of me if I play my cards right. If Marie never intended to make me uncomfortable with her remarkably forward text messages, then she's basically been on the receiving end of awkward hilarity the whole time. In fact, at this stage, it's Maud who comes out looking the most devious and cunning of us all.

That means that tonight presents an opportunity for one final assault in Operation Date Maud's Hot Sister. If I can push everyone else out of their comfort zone, I will maximize the LOLs and emerge victorious from what has been a fairly bruising encounter. Tonight, after all, is Wednesday night. And as the prophets say, "Wednesday night is the night we make love."