Foul betrayal

Pretty much my favourite thing in Canada is bagels. This is not to say that the skiing here is crap, or that I don't like Canadians. Rather, this should be taken to mean that I really, really like bagels. Running out of bagels is pretty much the worst thing that can happen in my day to day life, and when bagels are reduced to just $3 a bag (which is made even better because bagels are not subject to sales taxes) it's time for a change of undergarments.

I should be clear, however, that I don't just mean any old bagels. My bagel of choice is made by Dempsters (one of the big Canadian baked goods brands), and I especially like the blueberry variety.

So, imagine my joy today when I went to the local grocery store (which is fantastic, by the way) and bagels were $3 a bag. That's 50 cents a bagel - such a good deal. I check the bagel aisle every time I go to the supermarket to see if those little red "special" tags are out and when they are I can assure you that stirring music plays in my soul and my lungs are filled with the freshest of fresh mountain air. Think about that scene at the start of The Sound Of Music where Maria is singing about being in the mountains while atop a grassy knoll. That is akin to the sense of wholesome, expansive wonder that I feel upon finding cheap bagels.

But today, something was different. At first I thought it was a new brand of bagel. I was intrigued. Could these be even better than Dempster's bagels? Is that even possible? But no, both the normal bagels I'd grown to love and the new bags were both made by the same people. I thought it might have been a low fat variety, but no, that wasn't the case either. And then I saw those fateful words:

New, Improved Recipe!

I'm a hopeful, positive kind of guy (LOL), so I was ready to give the new bagels a chance. If they really were better, this was pretty big news in my life. I gave them a gentle, non-destructive squeeze. They seemed a little softer, which was bad because the density and crumb characteristic of the original recipe verge on perfection. A softer bagel is not something I welcome. But things were about to get worse.

The new bag of bagels was 200 grams lighter than the old style. 200 grams, people! What, did they think I wouldn't work it out? Are consumers all so dumb that we won't notice if you take 31 percent of our bagels away and charge us the same amount? It's bad enough that you'd meddle with what is possibly the greatest mass produced foodstuff that can't be dissolved in water for a nutritious and tasty snack (Sustagen - the sport variety, chocolate flavour). But to basically steal 200 grams of bagel from us in broad daylight? While pretending this is an improvement? Why don't you take 31 percent of our happiness and joy as well?

I have a strong compulsion to tell the people of Dempsters what I think about their "New, Improved Recipe". Stay tuned.